3 Simple Ways To Not Take Things Personally Ever Again!

Have you ever received criticism from someone and it just sticks in your mind for days? How does it feel to put a ton of thought into just one situation? Taking things personally is something everyone struggles with and it often drains our energy and leaves us questioning our worth. Learning how to not take things personally is a skill that is developed and achieving that skill will leave you much happier and more free. In this article, we’re diving into 3 simple ways to finally stop taking things personally, and understand why we do it in the first place. Stick around to become unstoppable!

Why We Take Things Personally

Taking things personally is the idea of interpreting an action or comment as an attack on who you are and a reflection of your worth and imperfections. The first step to mastering the skill of not taking things personally involves finding out why you get offended in the first place.  So, let’s get right into it:

• Perfectionism: This is when someone doesn’t stand to make mistakes and always strives for everything to be perfect. These people also criticize themselves when things go wrong and therefore can easily find faults in what others say about them. So, they might find it challenging not to take things personally.
• Childhood Memories: Some people may have grown up with a certain belief about themselves, for example, that they’re unlovable. So as they grow up, anything that triggers that wound of being unlovable will feel like a personal attack on them, leading them to be offended easily by what others say.
• Low self-esteem: This is one of the most common reasons. It’s more likely for someone to take things personally if they lack self-love. Think about it, if someone tells you something you truly believe you’re not, like calling you poor when your bank account is booming, it probably wouldn’t even faze you right? The point is, you wouldn’t take something personally if you didn’t believe it to be true in the first place.

• Need for approval: When someone goes the extra mile to make others see things from their perspective, it means they’re seeking their approval. If they don’t get others to agree with them, they will probably get really offended. Take this scenario, you’re out with a friend, and someone compliments her outfit while ignoring yours. It’s completely understandable if you find yourself feeling a bit envious or offended. However, those emotions might be signaling a  desire for external validation.
• Disrespect: If you took something personally, it could simply be because someone has crossed a boundary. In such a situation, it’s entirely your right to stand up for yourself and do something to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Benefits of Not Taking Things Personally

• Better Mental Health: Picture a life where the criticism and negativity around you no longer have an impact. When you develop the skill of not taking things personally, feelings of anger, jealousy, and envy disappear. You’re just simply existing and are unfazed by what anyone else says. You’re protecting your peace and therefore your mental health.
• Easy Boundaries: It can sometimes be challenging for us to say no to someone because it makes us feel guilty. However, when we stop taking things personally we no longer seek the approval of others. Instead, we trust that others will understand us, meaning we can say yes or no without feelings of guilt anymore.
• Be Open: Once you’re immune to people’s reactions to you, it will be easier for you to let out your true, authentic self. This also means expressing your needs without fear of rejection or vulnerability.

Don Miguel Ruiz, author of “The Four Agreements” perfectly describes the reward of not taking things personally, “Then you can be in the middle of hell and still experience inner peace and happiness. You can stay in your state of bliss, and hell will not affect you at all.”

How To Not Take Things Personally

Now that we know the importance of mastering the skill of not taking things personally, let me spill the tea on the strategies that personally helped me overcome them on my most sensitive days. Ready? Here we go!

     1. It’s Not About Me

Growing up, we tend to be pretty wrapped up in our own world, thinking about ourselves, what we aspire to be, how others perceive us, and so on. It’s no surprise then that we often assume everything people do is somehow about us. But here’s the real deal – the world doesn’t revolve around us. Truth is, everyone has got their own baggage to deal with that they don’t have time to think about others.

The bottom line is that not everything people say or do is about you! So, the next time you feel offended and think that someone’s is trying to attack you, look at it from the other person’s perspective and make room for understanding. Take the classic social media scenario: your friend didn’t hit the like or comment button on a post of yours, and suddenly you’re all worked up about it. Instead of taking it personally and assuming bad things, look at it from her perspective and think, “Maybe she just didn’t see it”, or “She doesn’t believe liking a picture is significant to our friendship’s success and so doesn’t think it’s a big deal.”

Here’s another trick for those moments where you’re taking things personally: change up the negative narrative to a positive one. Picture this: you’re at the gym, and some guys glance at you, and you’re now convinced they’re talking about your fitness level. Instead of going down that road, flip the narrative – maybe one of them is eager to learn your exercise technique because your bicep size inspired them.

    2. It’s About Me

When you find yourself taking things personally, consider them as opportunities to dig up your triggers or insecurities that you might want to work on. As a matter of fact, comments won’t affect you, unless deep down you think there might be some truth to them. Take Elon Musk for example, if someone tells him he doesn’t know a thing about Technology, he’ll probably just laugh in their face because he KNOWS it’s not true.

So, say you had plans with someone, and they bailed last minute, and you’re feeling all offended. It might hit you hard because, deep down, there’s a part of you that thinks you’re unlovable, and this situation seems to reinforce that belief. In these moments, be kind to yourself and offer empathy as you work through the emotions. I also suggest opening up to people and letting them know how you really feel. This creates space for curiosity, understanding, and communication, ultimately fostering your relationships.

Exercise: Notice when you take something personally and ask yourself why. Can you identify a trigger out of this situation?

    3. Let them Theory

This is a recent strategy that has been a game-changer for a lot of people. It’s the simplest thing ever – just let people be, literally. Your friends didn’t invite you to their hangout? Let them. Your partner isn’t giving you the bare minimum? Let her. Don’t wait for people to tell you who you are, instead let them show you. We often develop these high expectations of others and get disappointed when they don’t meet them. So stop trying to control people and focus on protecting your peace and controlling your reactions.

Letting people be doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings, it means letting people do whatever they want without having a strong reaction to it and then responding accordingly. Of course, this doesn’t apply to everything. If someone is involved in dangerous behavior, you should always take action and prevent them from harming themselves.

Important Reminders

While not taking things personally can change your life, it’s equally important to listen to other people’s advice and recognize the opportunities that might come along with them. But let’s be real – not all advice is valuable. When it comes to advice, I have a rule. I only take advice from those I admire in a field or who genuinely want the best for me.

Another thing you should keep in mind is that you should never tolerate disrespect directed towards you and should always stand up for yourself. While we can make a big deal out of things sometimes, understanding the other person has its limits. When you feel disrespected, speak up and set clear boundaries. For example, if your mother-in-law criticizes your life and talks about your shortcomings to other family members, it’s a time to set boundaries and express feeling disrespected.

Conclusion

Let’s recap, we discussed how life-changing it can be to not take things personally while exploring ways to achieve that. This shift can have a huge impact on your mental health, freeing you from fear of rejection or hurt. It allows you to be more understanding of others and even more empathetic with yourself. Remember though, you should never allow someone to disrespect or walk all over you. I’ll be here to remind you of that!

So, how was that? What did you think of the ‘let them’ theory? Interesting, right? Feel free to share any specific situation where you’ve taken something personally, I’d love to hear about it. Share it with your overly sensitive friends 😜. I’ll always be here cheering you on!