Do you keep failing over and over? Does failure scare you? We all fail at some point in our lives and maybe you already did. If that’s the case, don’t worry you’re not alone. All of the successful people we see today, including J.K. Rowling, Michael Jordan, Elon Musk, Tony Robbins, and Oprah Winfrey, have repeatedly failed. However, they stood out because of their ability to keep going when things got hard. In this article, you will learn how to finally let go of the fear of failure and live the life you truly want by achieving all your goals.
Why Are We Scared To Fail?
There are several reasons as to why we’re scared to fail.
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Childhood Experiences
This is the most common reason and I think we all relate to that. We grew up hearing the sentence ” You shouldn’t fail” or “Failure is bad”. Our parents, teachers, and even movie characters used to say it to us. We always aimed for an ‘A’ and felt embarrassed if we got anything less. We were scared to let our parents or friends know because then we would be punished or labeled as “foolish”. It’s not anyone’s fault, this is just how society is.
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Past Experiences
Let’s say you took that risk and decided to start your own business. You went in with optimism but failed and even went bankrupt. As a result, you now believe that you will never be able to run a growing and successful company. Trust me, I get you. But let me remind you of something; the past doesn’t determine the future. Just because you failed in the past, doesn’t mean you’ll fail in the future. You now have a new piece of knowledge that you can take with you. So if that’s you, keep going, I believe in you.
Michael Jordan, the famous basketball player, missed 9000 shots and lost 300 games before he became one of the best basketball players of all time. Jk Rowling, the author of Harry Potter, got rejected by 12 publishing houses before she got accepted by Bloomsbury. The list goes on and on. These people didn’t let their past dictate their future and kept going despite all the failures.
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Stories In Our Heads
The thing that keeps us from getting what we want is the story we keep telling ourselves about why we can’t have it. Tap into your inner self, what’s the story that you keep telling yourself? Is it that you’re not good enough? Maybe it’s that you can’t do it? Identify what it is that’s holding you back and challenge it. Change the narrative.
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Media
The problem with social media and news is that they don’t give you the full story. They only show you the end result, which includes luxurious mansions, expensive cars, and private jets. They constantly expose us to phenomenal success after success, without showing the thousands of hours of dull practices and failures that were required to achieve that success.
Benefits Of Failure
Failure is great. This might be something you never heard before but I’m here to change your perception of it. Here are some rewards of failing that will destroy this misconception.
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Gain Lessons
I believe that our failures are lessons that will help us get to that next step towards success. Think of it like a maze that you’re attempting to escape but fail every time you think you’ve reached. The path you took, however, taught you to avoid it in the future and search for alternate routes. Without failure, how will you know which way is the right way? When you fail, you know what to steer clear from.
Exercise: Reflect on a time in your life when you were going through a very difficult time, where are you now because of it? What lessons did you learn? Did it make you grow as a person?
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Inspires Growth
When you fail and keep on going, you develop mental strength. It’s hard when things don’t go as planned and this is when you experience a lot of lows and have to pick yourself back up. You need to challenge your mind and confront that inner voice inside your head. It needs to be reminded of why you’re doing what you’re doing. As a result, you learn more about who you are and the motivations behind your goals.
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Develops Resilience
Imagine seeing a runner fall repeatedly during an Olympic track and field competition and then get back up despite being far behind the other competitors. What would we all think of him? He’s passionate and inspiring. He’s resilient and doesn’t give up. When you practice getting up after falling, you’re unstoppable in your relationships, work life, and personal life. This will spread drastically throughout your life.
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Develops Acceptance
We need to start letting go of the things we can’t control because life doesn’t always go according to plan. Accepting what happened will help us move past that failure and onto the next chapter. When we fail, we begin to understand how life is. Failures and problems are inevitable and it’s good to always keep that in mind. Be excited to fail and learn, don’t dread it. Prepare for it.
Related Article: How to Let go of Control and Live a Worry Free Life
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Promotes Happiness
Tony Robbins always says that progress equals happiness, and he isn’t lying. When you pick yourself back up and learn from your failure, you will make some kind of progress. Think of the smallest wins you achieve in your day. Let’s say you woke up early today when you slept till noon yesterday. You immediately got up after learning not to hit the snooze button. How will that make you feel?
“The one who falls and gets up is stronger than the one who never tried. Do not fear failure but rather fear not trying.”
― Roy T. Bennett
Personal Experience
I had my share of failures and I’m using them as lessons.
I’ve been looking for internships recently, and I had one particular company in mind. Despite my constant effort to get into that company, I heard nothing back from them for months. I had multiple interviews with different companies and they weren’t what I had in mind, but I remember telling myself that I’m gonna use them as lessons for my future interviews. Most importantly, I believed in myself despite not hearing a word from the company. 2 months ago, I heard back from them and I got in.
Another personal example is this blog you’re reading now, I’m not getting the results I want and some things aren’t going according to plan. I even faced some rejections along the way. I’m still here though and I’m happy about it. I know that if I don’t stop trying, there’s no way I’m going to fail and so here I am. Point is, we’re all struggling in some areas of our lives but we just need to keep pushing!
7 Ways To Overcome Failure
Fear of failure holds us back from achieving a lot of the great goals we’ve set for ourselves, whether that’s as small as cooking a meal or as big as starting a multi-million dollar business. For us to achieve the extraordinary life we want, we have to overcome this fear. Below are some ways to let go of this fear and finally start living freely.
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Define Success
This is a big one, many of us have the wrong definition of success which in turn causes us to want to dodge failure. An example would be working out at the gym so that people would see you as ‘attractive’, this is how you set yourself up for failure. When you measure your success based on some external factors like what people will think of you in this case, you will never be fulfilled. So revisit your definition and fix it to be internal rather than external.
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Learn From Mistakes
It doesn’t matter if we fail, it’s what we do after failure that matters. Yes, failure is good but if we don’t use our setbacks as lessons then it went for nothing. So make sure to look for the lesson in every complication you face and don’t just sit there with the hope it will work out next time. If you want to succeed next time you need to do something differently, find out what that is.
If a relationship doesn’t go the way you wanted it to, it doesn’t mean you failed. It means you have new lessons you can learn from and reflect on the mistakes you’ve made. This is how you grow.
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Don’t judge yourself
This is very important because we can sometimes get caught up in self-sabotage and end up telling ourselves that we’re not good enough or that we can’t do it. Mistakes happen to all of us and they make us grow into better people. Don’t beat yourself up for it, instead, praise yourself for trying and give yourself the love you deserve.
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Focus On Progress
When we focus on the end goal, it can seem very far away which can sometimes feel demoralizing. It’s a good idea to focus on the small wins and progress that you make every day while keeping in mind the end goal. So I guess what I’m trying to say is to focus on what goes right rather than what goes wrong.
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Ignore Naysayers
Throughout your journey, you might stumble across many complainers some of which might be very close to you. It’s important to ignore them and keep going. Do take advice but don’t take negativity. Walt Disney was rejected 300 times because they thought Mickey Mouse’s idea was absurd. If he gave up and listened to those people, we wouldn’t have Disney. Point is, when you believe in something in your heart, don’t give up on it. Trust your body.
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Practice Resilience
The small things we do in life are what trigger the big things in life. If you start practicing resilience even in the small things, it will set you up for success in the bigger things. Let’s say you tried baking a dessert and it didn’t work out, use that small failure as a way to help you start overcoming your big fears. Try again some other day.
Exercise: Try to find an event in your day that you resisted pursuing because of a fear that held you back. Take action and remind yourself of the benefits you’re going to get.
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Commit!
This is the most important step. Wanna know how to succeed? Don’t give up. There’s no way you’ll fail if you never give up. Commit to that passion of yours and filter out all the noise. Keep falling and getting back up until you get what you want.
Conclusion
Let’s recap, we should start valuing failure instead of perceiving it as a bad thing. Failures are inevitable and act as preparations for success. Think of it like you’re warming up. This way you’re not scared of failure but rather waiting for it to give you another route to try. Don’t deliberately look for failure, this is not what I’m encouraging but rather accept that it might happen and be excited for the lessons it can bring. We’re all trying to figure things out after all.
So, how was that? Did it change your perception of failure? What’s a lesson you can take with you today? Let me know how the exercises went and share them with your friends if you found them beneficial. I’ll always be here cheering you on!